The Green-Eyed Monster

“The envious person grows lean with the fatness of their neighbor.” ~ Socrates

How much has dancing with the “green-eyed monster” cost you and others throughout your life? Every person has had the opportunity to dine and dance with the (the green-eyed monster); it’s natural to do so, and the beast loves to party. Have you ever heard the phrase “Jealousy rears its ugly heads, and oh what ugly head it is?” They are referring to the ugly head of the green-eyed monster.

Jealousy: “Carl has really been bitten by the green–eyed monster; he gets jealous if his wife so much as talks to another man.” This metaphor was coined by William Shakespeare in his play Othello.¹

Most of us are born with the natural disposition of feeling that we are not enough. Extreme self-centeredness and individualism fuel our mindset, shaping our attitudes and outlook on life, easily arousing envy and jealousy within, which if not careful can lead to sin. Atrocities occur every day around the world that stem from these two closely related defects of character.  The green-eyed monster is the cause of 25% of the murders throughout the world.²

Our minds have the capacity to be our own worst enemies, by working overtime to help create envy and jealousy between our ears. These deadly emotions typically stem from low self-esteem or when the romance in our lives becomes threatened. There is a significant difference between envy and jealousy. Envy is always between two people, and jealousy requires a third party.³ Unfortunately, much of the time, our envy and jealousy are born from a delusional state of mind. Meaning we don’t see things as they indeed are, which causes a great deal of unnecessary pain and suffering. When we become jealous (fancied or real), we become obsessed and strive to control and manipulate the situation at all costs.

None of us like it when we are the victim of someone else’s jealousy, but we are sure quick to act when we are stricken with this deadly emotion. We have all paid dearly for the sin of envy, but the good news we can leave the presence of the green-eyed monster as soon as we take our eyes off the world and place them on God. When we compare ourselves to the world (better-than or less-than), we lose every time, but when we put our faith and trust in God we discover our true value and purpose in life. We learn to start celebrating the success and blessings of others, as opposed to spending countless hours drowning in envy and jealousy. 

The key to overcoming jealousy inside our relationships is transparency. When the people we love know our propensity for jealousy, it is easier to share these feelings when they arise and help keep the green-eyed monster at bay. When we fail to disclose our true feelings, we set ourselves up to be devoured by our present circumstances (fancied or real), leading to all kinds of unhealthy behavior, e.g., searching people’s phones, emails and tracking their whereabouts with or without their knowledge or permission. Even when we are justified for our actions, we pay a heavy price for behavior.

• What price are you paying because of jealousy?
• How have you hurt others out of jealousy, e.g., gossip, setting people up, invading their privacy, fantasizing about harming them in some way?
• What will it take for you to start trusting infinite God vs. your finite self? Your dependence must come from God and not from people, places, and things.

My Creator, You created humankind in Your image, which means I am wonderfully made, yet I often catch myself being more concerned with how the world values me versus how You value me and all of creation. Please take the insecurities and unhealthy thoughts that plague my mind and replace them with acceptance, gratitude, peace, and serenity. Today I surrender my propensity for envy and jealousy over to You. God, grant me the willingness and courage to stare down the green-eyed monster so that we can partner together to defeat this beast once and for all. In Your Spirit and Name, I pray these things. May Your will not mine always materialize, now and forever. Amen. 

Image by Harold Long / Canva